Ongoings

What Am I Doing?

Okay, so I did it.

This is the new and improved but still not so handy woman. What do you think? In my humble opinion I quite like my new site title. What am I doing with my life? It is ambiguous in the way that I often post life updates and I, like many of us, sometimes sit down, sigh and say: “What the hell am I doing with my life?”

You know those days? Where you feel as though you’ve made a bad decision or messed something up?

On moving day, when it was 8pm and it was dark and I was sitting amongst boxes, I had a WAID moment. Haha, a WAID moment. Do you think that is good? Will it catch on? Maybe we could start a trend like #WAIDWML. Too long? Too stupid? Okay, i’ll stop suggesting things. Sorry.

Sometimes we find ourselves at the metaphorical crossroads of life.

I often picture mine as a vast, barren and desert like wilderness, it is night time and the sky is a dark navy blue. I cannot see very far into the distance. The stars are twinkling and the moonlight casts shadows of trees swaying very far away. I am standing in the middle of the crossroads and it is cold and silent. The road is a dirt track, it is coarse and dusty, there are no road signs. Something that always surprises me is that in my metaphorical crossroads vision there is a gas station about a hundred yards away to the north east of me. It is a small station with perhaps two or four pumps, it reminds me that I am in America perhaps Arizona. It is brightly lit but does not distract my attention. Again, it is silent.

Whenever I think of the crossroads of life I always see that same scene. Perhaps I saw it in a movie. Who knows?

I got so caught up in that moment that I forgot what my point was. Oh right. Okay.

I think my point was that my blog came to a similar crossroads. My blog is a part of me, it is my mind and my musings so it makes sense that as I evolve as a person and my life changes that so too should my blog. Since I started this blog I have gained a strong interest in minimalism, as you may know, and this has changed my perspective on some things, most notably the craft aspect of my blog. Of course I enjoy crafts but having a whole blog dedicated to something i’m finding less time for and less space in my life for is silly.

I was nervous about changing direction with my blog, it is easy to keep doing the same thing, especially if that thing seems to work but more than anything else my blog has to be honest. I can’t keep a craft blog if I know i’m not going to be crafting as much as I had been. You may know already but my life is super hectic at the moment and the only passion I find time to indulge in lately is reading and even that is sparse at the moment.

I don’t want to feel tied down either. Sometimes I felt pressure to produce a project despite not feeling particularly inspired, however that is not to say that the community was pressuring me, I put way too much pressure on myself. I think it is this “Imposter Syndrome” that an article told me I have. It would explain a lot.

To be honest I need a blog that is as flexible as I am, a blog that can change direction at any given time and that is adaptable and I am the only one with the power to shape my blog. This is another reason why I like my new title. It is adaptable. No matter how i’m feeling in any given month or what my next favourite hobby is this is a title that can now flow with whatever I chose to write about.

I like to see this as just another milestone in my blogging journey, i’m trying something different and new, because isn’t that how we start blogging in the first instance?

I hope you love it…

Lulu x

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